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The Ndui-Ndui Courier-Telegraph

Proudly Serving the Ndui-Ndui Area of West Ambae, Vanuatu since 2003 ...   We put the "K" in "Giaman"     * Nos Dolus Te *         Sandei, Mei 22, 2004 

A new sanitation truck for Ndui-Ndui municipal thanks to the NZ High Comm! Tankio tumas!

Malo Ethno-Tourism Project Invites Visitors to The Stabbing Island

"Its Stabberiffic!," Claim Boosters


LUGANVILLE -- Tourism Ministry officials hailed the new stabbing- centered ethno-tourism project on Malo island at a press conference in Santo yesterday, calling it slashingly original and a murderously sensible utilization of the areas natural strengths in promoting sustainable economic activity.

The project, named the Malo Undertaking for Rural Development of Ethno-tourism Resources, is broad-based endeavor to develop ethno-tourism capacities on the island while simultaneously improving the transportation infrastructure to and from Luganville. The project will also advertise the Malo tourism opportunities among the proper venues.

Developed in part by US Peace Corps volunteer Frances Gillaume, the project draws on Malos unique ethno-cultural heritage as being a haven for Vanuatus -- and perhaps the South Pacifics -- most avid stabbers. CONTINUED, P.2

Iraq Stinks, Locals Agree

Several Vilakalaka men recently agreed that Iraq stinks. Literally.

One night while watching satellite television at Navuturiki J.S.S., a Euronews report allegedly stated that Iraq smelled bad.

"Hemi tru, says Henry Simon. Oli talem nomo. Ating ol toliet blong olgeta ino gud, from olgeta ol Muslim terrorists."

But when asked what exactly was said in the report, the men turned their eyes towards Irish Banga, obviously the Enlish speaker of the group. CONTINUED, P.2

Man Disagrees with February

Paama mechanics instructor Phillip Viek expressed his profound disapproval of the month February while on his lunch break at Mataltal Rural Training Center Monday.

"February? No," said Viek as he discarded the soiled banana leaf formerly cradling his lunch of boiled taro. "Manis ia, February? Mi harem se: no."

Despite the quatrennial addition of a 29th day to this years February, the month failed to live up to Vieks perhaps stringent, perhaps comically ludicrous, but certainly unknowable set of standards.

"February -- no. Mi harem se hemi finis hariap tumas. Be hemi hariap blong go wea?" queried Viek in a series of incisive and penetrating yet potentially insane questions concerning Februarys length and intentions. CONTINUED, P.2

Page 2
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Page 3

  • Iraq "Mission" Still Accomplished and Becoming Even More Accomplished, Says White House
  • Civilized Yet Manly: Walaha Fashion Combines Sophistication and Ruggedness
  • RPCV Attempts to Buy Single Teabag at Supermarket
  • Vanuatu Voted 'Best Country to Pee On' 2004
  • "Hallelujah! Halalulu" Launches Marketing Campaign